The 2019 ACA (Affordable Care Act) enrollment period has been shortened from 90 days to 45 days (November 1-December 15, 2018) and the advertising budget to promote open enrollment has been slashed in an effort to sabotage the program. You’re probably not seeing a lot of advertising (read: zero) about the enrollment window online or on TV.
they get fogged up when we drink hot beverages.
they get smudged for no reason.
we will push them up using anything in our area (i.e shoulder, whatever is in my hand, scrunching my nose up so they get pushed up, etc.).
they get knocked off our faces all. the. fucking. time.
when we change clothes we either take them off or they fall off when we pull our shirts off.
we have to clean them after being in the rain.
we own multiple pairs of them, not just one lone pair for our whole lives.
most people don’t wear them in the pool, but some have extra old pairs for the pool (like me).
some people take them off during sex, that’s fine! but some people keep them on.
they don’t get squished into your face when you kiss (most of the time. at least from what i’ve experienced and i’ve got some mf big glasses).
if we look down and look back up while you talk/to peek up at something, we will just peek blindly over the top of them.
we clean them on whatever item of clothing is closest.
some of us have prescription sunglasses and some of us wear contacts when we need to wear sunglasses.
please keep some of these in mind when you write characters with glasses cause y’all who have 20/20 vision keep telling me all characters sleep in their glasses and own the same singular pair from age 6-25 and they never clean them.
( there’s this but you missed a few iconic glasses traits – “where’d I put my glasses” (is wearing them) – new glasses getting scratched on basically nothing. where’d the nick come from? we just don’t know. – forgetting you’re wearing synthetic material and just smudge the junk on your glasses around – after doing so, proceeding to hunt down any friend who is wearing a more cottony material – getting eyelashes on your glasses – stabbing yourself in the face with the arm of your glasses – “woah are you blind?” – “how many fingers am I holding up??” – walking into a warm room from the cold and suddenly being unable to see because your glasses fogged up – going outside and everything is Super Crisp 1080p – having three pairs of glasses and putting all of them at once – “aw dude you have transition lenses? lucky.” – the non-glasses scrutinising squint – taking off your glasses and suddenly you’re a different entity entirely – if you’re too good for taking off your glasses when dressing/undressing, realising you didn’t pull the collar of a shirt out enough and subjecting to your fate )
-For female characters wearing eye makeup is pretty much useless
– the reason why is because no matter what we do, the mascara will smear on our glasses
– thinking “Oh, there’s a little smudge. I’ll just clean it quickly”, then taking the glasses off and wondering how the hell you could see with what looks like three layers of dirt on them
– giving your loved one a little kiss but in the wrong angle so their nose touches your glasses
– the look™ when you’re in your bed lying on the side with your glasses on (aka the glasses are skewed)
– the sigh when you reach for your glasses and instead of grabbing them, you just knocked them onto the floor
– blindly feeling around for your glasses. yes, we all have velma moments.
– alt: if you have prescription sunglasses. wearing those to find your glasses when you misplaced them
– the “how blind are you compared to me” friends with glasses trade off
– Falcon Vision headache when you get a new prescription
– trying on all the fun frames when you need a new pair, but picking a pair that are similar to your old pair in the end
– alt: you do get a fun new pair and the wait for someone to ask “did you get a new pair of glasses?” (it’s like a bold new haircut but for your eyes)
Don’t forget
– I didn’t put my fingers in my glasses, how can i have five fingerprints smudges?
“Is the smudge on my glasses or my eye?”
Glasses are inevitably the most interesting part of your face to a baby. Babies will grab them off your face if you give them half a chance.
If your hair is long near your face, the special pain of getting your hair caught in the hinge of your glasses
The person with transition lenses immediately replying “they kind of suck because they don’t get dark enough”
The RAGE of one thousand super novas that burns through you when you see some celebrity or Instagram model wearing huge ugly ass retro glasses because you were alive when that was the ONLY choice and you got mocked mercilessly for it.
Not realizing how soap scummy your shower is because you never wear your glasses in there and therefore can’t see the build up
Accidentally keeping your glasses on when stepping into the shower and being grossed out at actually being able to see the state of it
Wishing to god you were farsighted when you break or lose your glasses and are nearsighted because farsighted people can just go to the drug store and get those reader glasses for like 10 bucks. Meanwhile you have to make an appointment, move some money around and make a blood sacrifice to the insurance gods that a frame of glasses you like are actually covered by your vision insurance. (This may be just an American thing.)
Dealing with minor problems with your glasses for over a year because your insurance only covers eye exams and frames every other year and your a cheap ass who doesn’t want to pay out of pocket. (This may also just be an American thing.)
The WEIRDNESS of going to the eye doctor for something other than new glasses
The strange but undeniable joy you feel when you’ve done the how-blind-are-you glasses trade, and your vision is incontestably worse than anyone else’s!
Being excited about thin new rimless glasses…. and then realizing that the figure-8 piece of the rims was the only part of your glasses you could kinda vaguely see without your glasses on, and if you set this $1500 pair of glasses down somewhere without thinking about it, you will never see anything ever again.
Deciding that you can take this sweater off without taking your glasses off first, and then feeling that first shift of the stem on your ear, and realizing that this is what Icarus felt when that first feather slipped out of molten wax, that your downfall is inevitable and you brought it on yourself.
No but seriously, I’ve had glasses since I was 7, I learned not to grab them by the lenses at the same time I was learning how to load a dishwasher, I only ever grab them by the stem or by the rim how are there fingerprints on my lens?!????!?
(Oh, and for transition lenses that don’t get dark enough, get a pair of clip-on sunglasses to go on top of the transitions. My husband’s light-sensitive and he loves this combo.)
You take your glasses off or get contacts and it’s not the Princess Diaries Wow Who Is She thing, all of your friends go “No, that’s weird, you look weird, put your glasses back on.”
Divots on the side of your head
Learning About Glasses Fetishists
Dont forget about the tan lines on the side of your head
the divots on the sides of your nose, too
Dont forget about the people me who complain about the transition lenses not being dark enough, but walking back inside and not being able to see a thing
Having to tilt your head because you’re wearing bifocals/trifocals and you’re looking through the wrong bit of the lens.
People assuming your glasses cost like $10 from the drugstore. My dudes, trifocal transition lenses alone cost about $200.
Keeping your previous glasses with outdated prescription as spares. Traveling with the spares and crossing your fingers you won’t need them.
Falling asleep while reading and waking up to the arm of your glasses bent or broken beyond repair.
Being unable to find your glasses because of COURSE the cat is sleeping on them.
Wishing oh my god for windshield wipers on your glasses, when walking in the rain. It’s not sexy, we can’t fucking SEE.
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